Marriage is a holy matrimony, created and designed by God himself. When we stand up in front of our family and friends, we have made the decision to say I do. It’s not, “I do right now” it’s “I do through thick and thin, for better or worse, until death do us part”.
So many marriages, although bound together in a church, are not grounded with an unfailing faith in God. Whether it be our own pride, the unwillingness to surrender, thinking that God is too busy… whatever the reason, so many times we try to do it alone and so many times our marriages fail because we are so apart from God.
Now, I did mention that God is the designer of marriages and all relationships in general, right? He created you and I; He knows exactly how each of us tick. This brings me to the question, why would we keep the expert in marriage, and ourselves, on the sidelines rather than the center of our marriage and our lives? That’s like keeping the teacher out of the classroom or the coach out of the game. Common sense makes this decision look extremely foolish.
I have heard multiple times that we have to work for everything, we cannot simply rely on God. This is true. Of course we need to be diligent in our work, diligent in our marriages / relationships, diligent with managing our finances, etc. However, when we place God at the center of any of these areas, they are more apt to flourish. Even more so than apt to, they most certainly WILL flourish! It’s like planting a seed and adding miracle grow into the potting soil; diligently studying His Word is like remembering to water it… Watch it grow!
From my own experience, looking back at different points in my life when I placed God at the center of my life and fully relied on His plan rather than my own understanding compared to times when I lost sight of His plan and relied solely on what I could see, feel, and touch. Undeniably, the differences are simply worlds apart. We will have trials and tribulations regardless, but with God fighting for us and standing firm in this knowledge, His peace will surround us.
A couple of quick examples: about 10 years back, I was very much living in the world and I had made decisions that had turned my world upside down; even so, I found myself surrounded by His peace and having this unwavering faith that God had a plan; that I could trust Him because He loved me regardless. Now take that and compare it to the year long spiritual battle I just went through in 2018 – WOW! Much of 2018 was like an out of body experience. The enemy found a cracked door and made my spirit his home; I even knew what was going on and I couldn’t stop him. He told me, I was not enough, and I believed it full heartedly. You see, if we start to live in a way that puts God on the sidelines, the enemy will attack in an instant. I gave every reason for God to give up on me; I gave every reason for my husband to walk out and take our littles. It was by God’s grace and His providing my husband the strength to stand through thick and thin that saved our marriage.
Marriage alone is tough but more than that, it is an institute that God designed to unite a man and woman together as one. Satan wants to destroy such marriages. Let us stand firm with God at the center of our marriages, knowing that we are victorious in His name; our battles have already been won. The enemy cannot undo what God has done – do not allow him to think that he can.
Twice now in the new year, I have heard from friends (two different couples) that they are being faced with divorce. My first thought is: Satan, BACK OFF! You cannot have my marriage nor can you have theirs! We will kneel in prayer and stand firm in the name of Jesus Christ. My second thought is: God, you always have a plan. Thank you.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28
God is using the fears that I believed of not being enough for my family and believing that leaving would be better for everyone. He is working through my battles to bring encouragement, love, and understanding to others experiencing similar situations. Without having gone through it myself, I would have simply been judgemental and had my own biased opinion but now I can listen and really hear them. I am able to share God’s unconditional love and the unending grace that He has for each of us because I am a direct example of it.
The thing to remember is marriage should not be looked at like a contract that can be easily terminated. Yes, there will be times of bliss along with times of turmoil. Regardless, marriage is about unconditional love and unending grace. God extends these to us and if we remain in God and God in us, we would then be able to pass unconditional love and unending grace through us to those around us, i.e. your spouse.
Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.
There will be disagreements that lead to arguments or heated conversations, of course. Even so, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins [1 Peter 4:8]. It is okay to take a moment to walk away, reevaluate the situation, PRAY, but then regroup. When you come back together, start in prayer. And I strongly urge you to never go to bed angry. Always allow God to soften your hearts, bringing healing to your marriage, and surrounding you both with His peace.
With love in Christ,
Even When You’re Running ♥ Casting Crowns